game on...bitch

Games are ace. You know it, I know it. That guy leeching my internet connection knows it. So here are some random thoughts and posts about the games I am playing, have played and want to play. Read it. Your girlfriend probably thinks the same stuff, she just can't get you to put down the controller long enough to make you listen.

Mario Kart - Wii

You probably played it when every character was made of 4 pixels, but this is the new version of the old and much loved Nintendo classic. Girls love this game. Maybe it's the fact that you can drive around as a princess in a car that looks like a baby stroller. Maybe it's the way you can randomly turn yourself into a speeding magical bullet. Whatever the appeal, buying your geek girl this game with ensure snoo snoo for at least a week. As a man, and no doubt a manly man, you may not appreciate the joy that is bouncing from one mushroom head to another. That's ok. We forgive you. Kind of.

Warning: Watch out for that bastard rainbow track. No, really. It's freakin' evil.

Assassin's Creed - PS3

When this game came out it was something totally new to the gaming industry. 40 hours of repetative game play later, I'm just wishing it would end. Sure Altair has great fighting techniques and the whole idea of a game within a game is kinda cool. But the fact that during a fight you end up bouncing off a wall continuously when all you want to do is run away makes it all a bit shitty. Having said that, the horse riding bit helped feed my secret need for a pony. Buy it, play it for 2 weeks and then trade it in for Haze.

This is actual gameplay. For once, no guards making sweet love to tables.

Burnout Paradise - PS3

Be still my beating rev-head heart. This game made me all happy in the girly place. Fast, shiny cars. Huge roamable cityscapes full of smashable objects - though sadly lacking in smashable pedestrians. This game has kept me entertained for hours and caused a serious rift in the harmony of boyfriend/controller relations. Because for once I wanted to hog the PS3. My only gripe? The bashing noise that happened every fucking time I changed vehicle. As in.....BASH. Thankyou, EA, for the many times you caused me to spill my cup of tea. Girls, paint your chargers pink and get online. There is satisfaction to be had in fucking some boygamer's nancy pants car right up. Like a boyfriend who makes you pancakes, this one is a keeper.

This charger. In pink. Need I say more?